bits and bobbins

1. April 13 2007 at 12:16 pm

   ally

   I’m 37– I hear a lot of this talk about “mutton dressed as lamb” or the warning that “If you can remember a fashion trend from the first time around, you shouldn’t wear it when it returns.”

   I don’t buy any of it. When I was dressing “my age” in my late 20s– wearing matching separates and sporting a sensible bob– I was miserable. That impulse to conformity was coming from a place of pain and isolation.

   London is very conservative. I wear things from the 80’s– basically my adolescence– that look works for me, though I do get stares, some full of open disgust. It’s prompted me to be more fierce in my joyful choices.

   I am inspired by Vivienne Westwood, Zandra Rhodes and Betsy Johnson as they are now– wild and wonderful.

   
   

2. April 13 2007 at 12:44 pm

   jitterbean

   As someone in my early 20s just starting out and trying to get a job, I fear that rocking the boat too much in terms of fashion can actually hurt me. Clearly, there are situations where you need to dress conservatively: job interviews, the first day of work, etc.

   Maybe I shouldn’t be afraid to be a little out there in the work place, but I think it’s already hard enough as a 23 year old to get taken seriously in the work place without also having to be a fashion fighter. I try to avoid things that may make me seem immature and young, which, unfortunately, usually means unconventional clothing.

   I am hoping that as I get more established and have a steady job and am less susceptible to other people judgments of me, I will be able to be a little more myself all the time, rather than just during my free time. But as you’ve talked about before, fashion shapes people’s impressions of us, and right now the impression I need to convey is grown-up in a conventional sense, reliable, professional, and “normal.”

   HOWEVER, on the weekends, I let loose. I love to dress up when I go out, and it always is such a bummer to go to a party and see people dressed with no flair whatsoever. I mean, it’s a party! I dress up even when I’m going shopping, because it’s fun. And people do stare sometimes, but I think it’s usually positive, because they can see that I feel sexy and confident.

   I do (mentally) criticize people who try but fail, particularly those that are “trying too hard.” I do appreciate that they tried, and I usually acknowledge what was successful about their outfit. I also (and more frequently) mentally criticize people who clearly aren’t trying at all, because they usually look awful. I think they think if they look awful in the same way that everyone else does, it’s okay.

   Ooh, this is getting long, but here’s another interesting issue: what about people who dress out of the mainstream, but basically wear a uniform for a certain subculture? Like, a lot of punks and goth kids and hipsters aren’t wearing conventional clothing, but they look exactly like all the other punk and goth and hipster kids. How much of a risk are they taking?

   
   

3. April 13 2007 at 12:48 pm

   Gwyneth

   It’s funny: I’ve been watching a bit of the Style Network these days and find myself cynical at the results of some of the fashion makeover shows. There have been quite a few that address the “dressing your age” subject. I’m not entirely sure what that means, but to most of the stylists, it seems to encompass Ann Taylor, Banana Republic, and Gap (but only for weekend wear). I’ve been to these stores looking for clothing for work, and it looks like each store is trying to outdo themselves in a race to the mediocre: band-aid coloured clothes with various shades of grey thrown in.

   If this is what I’m supposed to strive for, then count me out. This one of the reasons I love your blog: it helps give me the courage to make my own choices, to eschew the mainstream magazine styles, and to have a bit of fun with my clothing. And for that, I thank you from the depths of my newly-rediscovered closet!

   
   

4. April 13 2007 at 1:11 pm

   Line

   I’m 35 and I feel the same as Ally - I have dressed ‘my age’ in the past and it’s only made me feel dowdy and miserable. And also like I’m hiding part of myself.

   When I was a teenager I used to spend hours in second-hand clothes shops and flea markets and I used to love making my own necklaces and earrings, printing up my own t-shirts etc etc. I lost that a bit as I got older and other things got in the way - with so much going on and more responsibility it was just easier not to think too much about what I was wearing - but I’m finding it again now and I feel so much happier and so much more complete because of it.

   
   

5. April 13 2007 at 1:32 pm

   SwanDiamondRose

   i think the idea of dressing your age should be completely ignored. dress to be you. Ally mentioned “mutton dressed as lamb”. a turn of phrase that is coming from a pretty nasty place in our culture. which i think is part of the idea of dressing your age. those phrases are meant to do more than just get women to dress “their age”. but if you do feel something doesn’t suit you anymore, sure, don’t wear it.

   
   

6. April 13 2007 at 1:41 pm

   Josi

   Perhaps part of what is meant by dressing one’s age is dressing appropriate to the situation. When we are young, we are allowed a certain amount of social folly but consider these:

   1. Don’t upstage the bride, or guest of honor. If the event is in celebration of someone other than yourself, an adult woman understands she has a certain obligation not to be overly flashy (and certainly not if the guests of honor are more subdued).

   2. Similar to #1, if you are attending something held by those with conservative tastes, it is considerate to show up accordingly. Being considerate might be boring for some, but it is a hallmark of acting like an adult. Remember - some people’s ideas of taking chances involve showing a lot of skin, or glitter, or mismatching shoes… all of which are perhaps best left in the closet when attending a luncheon with one’s future in-laws.

   3. Being weather-inappropriate just looks stupid. Period. High heels in the snow, or scarves in the heat - just dumb.

   4. It’s a fact of life that people will attribute qualities to a person based upon her clothing. A woman in a Chanel suit appears more professional that a woman in a Betsey Johnson dress. Can both pull off a business meeting - well, that depends upon the person. I would say a naturally confident woman could pull it off, but a more shy and unsure woman might want the advantage in initial reaction that the suit provides.

   I think one of the main differences between acting like an adult and acting like a child is the ability to compromise. Every situation isn’t, primarily, an opportunity to be a fashion-plate, and being able to set that aside isn’t about conformity, but about learning how to respect a situation. (For instance, most legal offices have a ‘no knees’ rule which I don’t find stodgy at all. A legal office and a night club should have differences in the appropriate apparel.)

   
   

7. April 13 2007 at 1:42 pm

   ambika

   Ooo, these are wonderful questions.

   I think the only time I’m truly inclined to raise a brow at someone’s style is when they’re not trying, when they look cookie cutter and uniform. True, this mostly happens when walking in a university district among people who are probably a bit young to really start risk-taking or to have discovered their own style.

   The mutton dressed as lamb thing just bugs me. First of all, you don’t hear it in reference to men. Also, as someone from the casual west coast, I don’t understand why I have to stop wearing jeans and Vans just because I’m not 19. Further, as someone with a young (46), totally cute mom who has never dressed in Banana Republic (nor had a job [she's a nurse] that really called for it), I don’t see the reason to go conservative and skirt-suity. Yes, I work in an office but it’s still incredibly flexible as far as what constitutes ‘office wear.’

   As far as cowing to other’s opinions…certainly not. Sure, I may be lifting a brow at the cookie-cutter A&F college student, but I certainly don’t expect him/her to give a damn what I think or change anything about him/herself to suit ME. I have to admit tho, when I see someone who very obviously doesn’t care about themselves, & you can see this reflected in how they dress, it just makes me sad. Of course, that would be a bit of a cart before the horse kind of situation to ask them to think about clothes when clearly there are other things going on.

   
   

8. April 13 2007 at 1:48 pm

   brandy

   i only say dress for your shape. understand what compliments your figure.

   just b/c it is in style, doesnt mean you should wear it!

   embrace your individuality–with confidence you can pull anything off!

   and to the ladies that are afraid they wont be taken seriously—people will forget what you are wearing if you are good at your job!

   
   

9. April 13 2007 at 2:10 pm

   Gina

   Wow! This is really something I struggle with as a former vintage gothy type. How do I have a bit of edge, a bit of vintage, a bit of color (I like color more now than I like black) and bring it all together for a 40 year old woman living 80 miles north of Manhattan in the bleak sameness of suburbia? First off, I do think there are a few “rules” of fashion and age, and mini skirts are one of them. I don’t care how “rocking” your body is, a mini skirt is not day wear or work wear for a 40yo woman (or man). But then I look at someone like Vivienne Westwood, and I think she’s amazing. She will be working her style until she’s in a coffin, and I applaud that. I think those who work in fashion, art, film, etc. are afforded a bit more leeway than the rest of us, but I think it’s nice to take risks.

   At this point, I focus first on shape (does it flatter) and color (does it flatter), and then I think about how it will work with the clothing I already own. I prefer to mix things — maybe a thrifted Ann Tayor A-line skirt with a vintage sweater or a vintage-inspired handknit I knit. I tend to concentrate on building a wardrobe that has pays homage to the vintage pinup girl, but it’s a very sly wink to it rather than obvious.

   
   

10. April 13 2007 at 2:15 pm

    jennine

    oh dear… i was thinking about that the last time i was in h&m trying on stuff from the ‘divided’ section. realizing i’m just too old to be wearing cheap plastic looking clothes.

    i don’t think i ‘dress my age’ but i do feel WAY more comfortable in my skin now than i did in my teens and 20’s (i’m in my 30’s now). and it’s an opprtune time to really take that comfort and fly with it, because self-acceptance will always shine through, no matter where your clothes come from.

    so yeah, i do believe one should dress their age. luckily, ‘age appropriate’ is subjective…

    
    

11. April 13 2007 at 2:45 pm

    Maven

    I’m 32 and many things, like say car trouble, make me feel like a stupid little kid. I am continually surprised and intrigued by the things that make me feel “adult”–they are not the things I expected when I was younger. All this is to say that the moments of arrival into adulthood are kind of ongoing, and I certainly don’t think there’s any way to prescribe when we should start dressing our age (you know, whatever that means).

    That said, the only thing I find truly juvenile, fashion-wise, is grown folks dressing head to toe in logo wear. There’s no better way to advertise that you are a sheep. I’m not crazy about costumes/uniforms either, to address the punk/goth/hipster question above. That’s all emblematic of trying to identify yourself with a group, and that seems very young to me–something you do when you’re just starting to figure yourself out. But there are always exceptions for me and I am more than happy to admit that someone has used logo-wear or goth boots in an amazingly cool way if such is the case.

    I have never had a full-on corporate job and probably never will. I’m a musician and an academic, which means I have lots of leeway in my wardrobe. I have definitely tailored my outfits to specific situations before, but mostly when I felt it was necessary to distinguish myself in some way from the college or high school students I was teaching. It seemed like a good move to abandon the sporty-spice grad school look I was rocking at the time and find a new way to dress anyway. Meeting the challenge of new professional situations has actually been nothing but beneficial to my personal style. You can always wear a suit with a fabulous 70s pointy collared shirt, you know.

    Anyway, I just figure that people aren’t going to take me seriously as a professional anything because I have a dark suit on. They’re going to take me seriously because I’m awesome.

    
    

12. April 13 2007 at 2:54 pm

    sarah

    personally, my only rule is modesty. i don’t think it’s so much to do with my age, it’s more just not wanting any attention for physical attributes i may or may not have. other than that everything’s fair game.
    at 31 i don’t feel like an adult and can’t believe i ever will. but in order to understand the idea of an adult and how they should dress we have to understand the idea of teenagers and how they should dress and univerity kids and middle class small town, and the young single urban dweller etc.etc.etc. i think these demographics were invented simply for selling more products for no better reason than someone to make money. and that is not a good enough reason for me to change how i dress or how i see myself.

    
    

13. April 13 2007 at 3:39 pm

    Tracy

    Funny how you bring this question up now. I just finished making a leather top that I really like, but I even stated in my blog, it doesn’t seem age appropriate for me. I’m 48, I feel like I’m 28 thus the problem.

    Usually I wear anything my heart desires, but on occasion I do find myself concerned with the appropriateness of my choices. The “appropriateness” mainly being the event or activity I’m attending. The same kind of “rules’ Josi mentioned in her post.

    As for the leather top I mention above, you really want to know what is making me second guess this top? It’s my kids and my husband. Three of the kids, all in their own ways, told me that a leather top, especially one worn by a woman my age was straddling the borderline of sleeze. My husband confirmed the sleeze factor opinion with the cheesey grin that’s on his face!

    I’ve never cared what the general public thought about me. They don’t know me and I don’t know them. But I DO find disapproval from my own kids bothersome. Notice that I haven’t succumbed to their point of view all together, but it has given me pause to think. They have hung their heads in shame many many times over the outfits I’ve chosen to wear. LOL But I can honestly say I think this is the first time they ever thought something I might wear was sleezy!

    So to sum up this disjointed and rambling comment to answer your question….I don’t think there is such a thing as age appropriate clothing, but danged if there aren’t a whole lot of people who do! What I think should be the determining factor on a garments wearability is the fit, and if the cut or style of the garment is appropriate for the body type, it’s got nothing to with age.

    
    

14. April 13 2007 at 4:55 pm

    ashleysue

    At 25-years-old, I feel like I’m in a bit of a flux. It’s weird trying to shed my college clothing for something more suitable for the office, and I feel it’s really reflected in my current wardrobe. I’ve got a closet filled with teeshirts and sneakers, but I find myself wearing mostly button down blouses and trousers. I try and mix these two elements together, but it’s actually a lot more difficult than I would like, and often, I just look like a hot mess.
    These days, I mostly stick to the slightly more “adult” pieces I find at H&M, while wishing I could wear something bright and fucky, like something from A Bathing Ape.

    
    

15. April 13 2007 at 6:46 pm

    'tine

    I think it comes down to dressing in a manner that suits your attitude or personality. Hopefully, one is not the same person at 32 that she was at 16. So naturally as one grows and changes and gets older, one’s style of dress will change. Ideally one should grow intellectually, culturally, emotionally, etc. I just looked at pictures at my high school reunion (I did not go) and I could tell the people who “peaked” emotionally and intellectually in high school were the people who were still dressing like they were at 18. Which is sad because we’re all now in our late 30s and their manner of dress indicates to me that they can’t let go of their teenage years.

    That being said, I don’t think one has to donate one’s wardrobe to Goodwill at the age of 35.

    Case in point, two nights ago I went to the opera in Manhattan, and there was a woman there easily in her late 50s early 60s who had pink, bobbed hair and dressed in a very “Bestey Johnson” type style. Was she age appropriate? Absolutely! The style and manner of dress was appropriate to her age, attitude and personality. She certainly didn’t dress like a “teenager” but her style still project a youthful (noticed not “young”), artistic, spirited personality. Nothing wrong with that!

    In regard to the concept of being an “adult,” I don’t think adulthood has anything to do with one’s manner of dress or conservatism. I think adulthood is facing the problems of your life, making an attempt at solving them, and living with your decisions. A former boyfriend of mine works in a high power job in the corporate world. He dresses in a well-taliored, conservative suit and tie everyday. However, emotionally, he’s stuck at the age of 15 or 16. He cannot deal with or face problems and issues. (Thus our parting.) While, I, on the otherhand, dress in a more artsy, colorful way and wanted to readily confront the issues between us.

    Finally, Look at Betsey Johnson or Beatrice Wood. Not only is Johnson an artist and an older woman (is she in her 60s yet?) but a business woman to be reckoned with. Wood, a ceramics artist of great note and artistry, at the age of 100 dressed in a white sari and painted her toe nails bright red. My kind of adult!

    
    

16. April 13 2007 at 7:37 pm

    Marlena

    My brother and sister tease me all the time for still wearing bright green and yellow sneakers and a hot pink Jem sweatshirt. I’m actually having a bit of a crises right now regarding my fashion sense. It seems to have gotten away from me while I’ve worked in an office for the last four years. I still have some nice vintage skirts and dresses, but I also have an alarming number of gray trousers and way too much khaki. It’s especially hard for me when I look at pictures of myself from my early/mid twenties and see all the great clothes I had, and all the different looks I wore. Maybe one day I’d be wearing all black with thick black eyeliner, and the next I’d be wearing a bright minidress and pigtails. I wanted that fashion back, but worried that I was really pining for my youth. Then I found your blog and wardrobe remix and saw that I don’t have to be trapped in a gray and tan prison! I’m enough of an asset to my company that I don’t think they’d care if I showed up in a belted burlap sack. It’s a slow road to a fabulous wardrobe again, though.

    Wow, and my comment got away from me! I guess what I mean to say is, you’re only too old to rock a look if you are wearing it just to try to recapture your youth. I think that’s why it’s uncomfortable to see some people obviously wearing the wrong clothes, they aren’t comfortable in them either. If you’re confident and think you look great, who cares about the haters! (The only things I feel like I can’t go back to are miniskirts and the eyeliner! They’re both way too much maintenance for me now!) (Oh, and I’m 31, 32 this summer.)

    
    

17. April 14 2007 at 7:18 am

    ally

    It’s been really fascinating to read everyone’s comments so far, especially Josi’s, which got me thinking.

    I have a small box of clothes I wear to see the inlaws, and a beautiful suit I wear to interviews, or to “pass” in straighter social events. That box comes out less than once a year. I’ll never go to a board meeting or work in a law office, and rarely do I need to don the suit.

    What’s more interesting is all these rules extend farther here in London. Everyone here dresses according to bizarre social rules and, well, most everyone looks really glum and terrible. Worse, there are many women in veils and chadors or “clothes hiders”– and of course they are being respectful to the point of near invisibility– but their somber, “halal” choices make mine seem even louder. In my old neighborhood I’ve had people pull their children away from me and mumble things like “witch”– I suppose a Chanel suit might help me avoid those kind of stares.

    It’s interesting that the daily conformist pressure I seem to face doesn’t come from an office dress code. I’m not about to change the way I look so that I’m not offensive to those around me who live in a separate, mysogynist culture.

    
    

18. April 14 2007 at 10:37 am

    Susan

    Love your blog and have never commented. I feel compelled to today - here it goes!

    I’m one of those 37 year-old women who considers myself in fashion, but not clever enough to have real style and to take risks. I admit it, I’m boring! I wear what the stores put together for me because I really have no talent in that department, and that’s okay with me. I have good taste and I make sure I only wear what suits my body. I work in fundraising and we’re not even allowed to wear jeans on a Friday. I work in the accounting department and never meet outside people, so I can get away with a little more than my coworkers. Sometimes I worry that I dress too frumpy. I probably don’t and am being a little hard on myself and my coworkers admire my clothes but I haven’t got ‘it’.

    I don’t admit to anything more fiery than that. I admire it in those like you who do. But I am descended from fiery clothing style talent. I’m going to use my mom as a case study.

    She is 61 and has the means now to pretty much buy whatever she wants. She has real style talent, and could pull off a Vogue photo shoot. Her compliments on her wardrobe are never-ending. She’ll wear H&M pieces with her Chanel bags, Zara bags, Gap jeans, $1200 boots and inexpensive Suzy Shier or Le Chateau as well. She’ll throw on the most amazing costume jewellery from all price ranges with her Judith Lieber glasses and wears her mint vintage grey lamb fur coat she bought at Toronto’s coolest vintage store, Cabaret (she replaced the old buttons with rhinestone pins instead). She keeps her hair in a short-to-medium shag that she’ll straighten and punk out a bit with product. Her makeup is clean-looking and polished. And she never, ever, dresses down in public because she says she owes it to the rest of humanity to look her best.

    There’s a lot there in the paragraph above that certain people could pooh-pooh as too ‘young’. Wearing clothes from Suzy Shier? It’s a very young store, kind of like the store Express in the States but there are pieces any age group could pull off. Her hair itself? Totally hip. Some would think she needs to have more conservative hair but really, there is nothing that could age a woman more. If you have nothing else, by gum, go to a good stylist. Gap? Zara? How many women in their 80s do you see in those stores? Not many. And why not? What do they fear?

    She skips the mini skirts, and does sometimes try on outfits to see if they are a little too ‘young’ or not. Too short? No. Straps too revealing on the top? Back on the rack. It’s a matter of comfort, I think. If you’re wearing it and you feel after the day a bit silly, it’s wrong. Turf it. To those women who are older but wear the midriff-baring pieces, yeah, it’s disconcerting - but if she’s got a six-pack - I’m all there with you, girl. But please, not on urban roads, okay? And that goes for anybody.

    My mom sometimes doubts her clothing choices. If she’s not comfortable, it’s acknowledged but at times I’ve said to her, Mom, if you DON’T wear that, you’re submitting to those opinions that declare you need to dress like an old lady. If you do, you’ll look like one. Her mother, who I didn’t know well, seemed to take the same risks. She was divorced, wore rhinestone glasses, smoked cigarettes in a long holder, and was a talented seamstress. She couldn’t afford to buy clothes, but she could spot something in a magazine that she liked, and produce it on her sewing machine. She was that good. Always had immaculate hair and nails and refused to look like the other women her age. She was not afraid to voice her opinion and if she saw a lady who had questionable looks and taste, would declare ’she looks like a four-buckle overshoe’. My dad’s mom, an evil Italian who died at 87, always made sure she had the most perfect coats, shoes, funky boots, suits and fabulous big pieces of jewellery. She seemed to shop daily. She couldn’t stand old ladies dressing like old ladies. And you never saw anyone look so good while they slagged other members of the family or the neighbours.

    My mom is so happy all her best stuff will be handed down to me (my dad thinks we’re so morbid, but seriously!) And she told me that if she ever, ever looks like one of those old ladies in their droopy old overcoats, plastic hair covers and beige shoes, I’m to smother her with a pillow, because she may as well be dead.

    On the other side of the coin, I have a dear coworker who is on the short side, kind of stocky and sadly, is too, too conservative in dress. She dresses in clothes from Laura Petites (you Canadian girls know what that’s like). She is insane with keeping the ‘professional fundraiser’ look at all times. Which means, stodgy suits, pumps (shudder), and too tight waistbands around her middle. She’s a pretty girl, going on 85. I want to shake her badly. Banana Republic has a petites section! They have sales! Wear pants more! Buy more stylin’ shoes! I use her quietly in my private life as an example of what young women (or any woman) should NEVER do.

    There is one aspect I think women and men would do well to consider, though, that screams out for restraint no matter what the age. I do think all ages need to examine carefully, revealing clothing that is made for any part of the body from mid-thigh and up. After that, I think anything goes for anyone.

    My rambling essay is probably not answering all those questions you put out there, but it’s been fun to examine this topic. Thanks for inviting us in.

    
    

19. April 16 2007 at 9:49 am

    Anusha

    This might be a bit of a different viewpoint, but I think you can dress nicely and beautifully without trying to dress like you’re 20-40 years younger than you are. I live out here in the ‘burbs, and I see older women trying to dress like girls, and I think it just looks awful.

    This has nothing to do with wearing bright colors, flattering cuts, shopping in the “Juniors” section, etc. I think you can find beautiful clothes anywhere, in any store department, regardless of your age. My mother has bought lovely clothes in Juniors’ sections, and I’ve found the same in Misses’ sections. We both love colors and wear what flatters us … or, at least, we try!

    However, I think there IS such a thing as “age-appropriate” clothing. For instance, I’m in my 30s now and just don’t feel right wearing micro-miniskirts, although I can definitely pull them off. That’s one example of a style that I think should be left to younger women.

    Certain kinds of styles (super-tight jeans, very short skirts, extreme looks) cannot, in my opinion, be pulled off successfully by women who are older, because such styles just look good only on women with younger faces. It might be because such looks are often rather blatantly sexual, so maybe it has something to do with some sort of biological display of fertility? I don’t know, exactly, but I think that such styles just fail on women who are older than the age they look good on.

    It works the other way too. Young women in their teens and twenties don’t look good in more mature, sophisticated styles that look better on older women. There are beautiful, elegant, supremely sexy styles out there that only women who’ve really experienced life and the world look good in. No teenager or 20-something could ever successfully pull of a Carrie Bradshaw!

    In fact, “Sex & the City” gives great examples of women who are not very young, yet look gorgeous (with a few exceptions here and there, especially when it came to Samantha, but that’s another story). They didn’t dress like teenagers to look fabulous. They didn’t need to.

    Younger women need to experiment with all kinds of extreme and/or blatant styles in order to develop their own fashion identities. Older women should, by now, have gone through all that and know what their identity and style is.

    Nostalgia plays a part too. I find myself strongly drawn to clothes that were fashionable when I was a little girl (hello 1980s!), but there are certain styles from that era that I know I can never pull off, now. So I leave them be.

    Men don’t have this problem as much. I’ve really never seen a 40-something (or older) man dress like a younger one. Maybe it’s just where I live? I don’t know. In any case, men around here seem to instinctively know how ridiculous dressing like a teen or 20-something (in skinny jeans, shaggy haircuts, etc.) would be, so they don’t go there.

    I think it’s all tied up to how scared we women can get about growing older. It’s really frustrating, because I think I’m much, much better off (mentally, emotionally, even physically) now than I was in my teens and 20s. Yet, everywhere I turn people imply (or flat-out tell me) how much worse it must be now that I’m getting older. Sometimes I think that older women dress in younger styles just because they’re scared of the aging process, in general, because our society equates women’s worth and attractiveness with youth.

    
    

20. April 16 2007 at 12:31 pm

    risa

    what great comments! i loved reading what other women in their 30s think about this issue as i think about it often. i am almost 31 but look young for my age…most people think i am in my early 20s. this affects the way i dress professionally as i don’t want to go to meeting looking like i just entered the workforce when i’ve actually been working for ten years. i try not to dress conservatively but a little bit more formal than i might if i looked my age.
    overall though, i’m with most of the other folks that the main thing i do to dress my age is not to wear super minis…or at least wear them over pants.
    i don’t think you dress “young” or “too young” at all. i think your sense of style is quite sophisticated so even if you are wearing many brightly colored pieces they are put together in a way that most teenagers would never wear them.
    and on a different note…the fashion question i often deal with here in ecuador is what does it mean to dress feminine? the social norms for dressing here are much more traditionally female than i was used to in ny and it’s been hard for me at times…i have short hair, i like form-fitting clothing but usually only one piece that is not too revealing, i often choose flats over heels…but i think i am still very feminine. not everyone here agrees.

    
    

21. April 16 2007 at 11:28 pm

    Liz

    I’m almost 39, employed in what I want to do (web content-related), have straight shoulder-length fuschia hair w/bangs. I have a tiny rhinestone piercing in my nose. I wear stylish glasses. I love low-rider jeans (no matter the label) and the current ’skull’ craze. I shop for tops and jewelry in the Jr dept. I’m also 40 lbs overweight.

    I cover my gut and upper arms. I am well-groomed, and wear only a little eyeliner. My 36 yo hubby thinks I look cute and I get tons of compliments on my “porcelain skin” (not my words) and pink hair. My hubby likes the way I dress.

    I still have 40 pounds left to lose (lost 40), but I am confident that I look appropriate, with a little artistic flair! Instead of dressing one’s age, I think people should dress to reflect their personalities as long as they are tastefully covered up.

    Just my 2 cents.

    
    

22. April 17 2007 at 9:38 am

    Jeannine

    To dressing “like an adult” I say pish posh! There are so many ways where “like an adult” simply means staid and boring, and with fashion I think that is def the case.

    
    

23. April 17 2007 at 12:58 pm

    Missi

    i feel that there are no rules when it comes to dressing your age as long as you don’t over do it. at any age, if you dress flashy and outrageous, it might look silly. at least when you are fifteen people can excuse your behavior as an attempt at finding yourself. if one is confident in the selection, picks what suits them, and the final product looks effortless, i feel that age appropriate rules don’t apply. if you look like you are trying too hard, pick something too tight, and feel uncomfortable in your own clothes, then others will pick up on it.

    i do think that with age comes increased funds, so, that you may purchase quality garments as opposed to h&m and forever 21 garments. and good quality almost always shines through.

    this is just my view and opinions are like assholes, everyone has them and they all stink

    
    

24. June 15 2007 at 6:52 pm

    The Space Between My Peers » Just Linking: June 15, 2007

    [...] As I flipped through the party photos from the CFDA awards at Style.com, I observed: not everyone pictured in them looks fabulous. Which I take as encouragement to be less fearful regarding fashion.  And speaking of fear and risk-taking in fashion, here’s Tricia’s post on the age question.  Prompted, sadly, by a commenter accusing her of dressing too young for her age. [...]

    
    

25. June 18 2007 at 3:51 am

    The Space Between My Peers » Commonsense Guidelines for Dressing Like an Adult

    [...] The following post was actually a comment by Josi of The Art of Crochet on the question of risk-taking and acting your age, posed by Tricia at bits and bobbins.  Josi has kindly given permission for me to re-publish it here. [...]

    
    

26. September 9 2007 at 10:21 am

    WendyB

    Chiming in very late, but must say I love Liz’s comment. Go Liz! Oh, and I’m 39. Am I dressing my age? Who knows.

    
    

27. October 15 2007 at 5:04 pm

    elle

    What constitutes age appropriateness is truly subjective it seems. It also seems to me that people confuse age-appropriateness with dressing for your environment, (i.e., not dressing like a tramp for a job interview) and body-appropriate clothing; issues that have nothing to do with chronological age. The idea that just because I’m 43 I should suddenly cut my hair and wear a beige pantsuit everywhere is preposterous. I didn’t stop being an individual or a sexual being once I passed 40. I wear a lot of the things that society dictates are inappropriate for une femme d’un age certain. I wear babydolls, low-rise bootleg pants with boots, leather, and whatever else is of the moment that I like and that looks good on my body. I even wear *gasp* skirts that fall just above the knee, tank tops, halter tops, and shrugs. I think it’s a shame for me to hide my awesome legs and arms from the world. What for? I think the whole age appropriate thing is for the youngsters. They own the fashions, they feel special. They continue to buy the fashions. If older women are dressing the same way and looking good, maybe some old enough to be your mom, as the 25-year-old how do you distinguish yourself? I don’t know. Just a theory. Although, when I was still 30-ish and slightly overweight, I dressed older and in a lot of black. When I started losing weight and wearing halters, one of my nieces said. Auntie, its about time you started dressing young. She was 18 at that time. LOL.