i do think that with age comes increased funds, so, that you may purchase quality garments as opposed to h&m and forever 21 garments. and good quality almost always shines through.

this is just my view and opinions are like assholes, everyone has them and they all stink

I cover my gut and upper arms. I am well-groomed, and wear only a little eyeliner. My 36 yo hubby thinks I look cute and I get tons of compliments on my “porcelain skin” (not my words) and pink hair. My hubby likes the way I dress.

I still have 40 pounds left to lose (lost 40), but I am confident that I look appropriate, with a little artistic flair! Instead of dressing one’s age, I think people should dress to reflect their personalities as long as they are tastefully covered up.

Just my 2 cents.

This has nothing to do with wearing bright colors, flattering cuts, shopping in the “Juniors” section, etc. I think you can find beautiful clothes anywhere, in any store department, regardless of your age. My mother has bought lovely clothes in Juniors’ sections, and I’ve found the same in Misses’ sections. We both love colors and wear what flatters us … or, at least, we try!

However, I think there IS such a thing as “age-appropriate” clothing. For instance, I’m in my 30s now and just don’t feel right wearing micro-miniskirts, although I can definitely pull them off. That’s one example of a style that I think should be left to younger women.

Certain kinds of styles (super-tight jeans, very short skirts, extreme looks) cannot, in my opinion, be pulled off successfully by women who are older, because such styles just look good only on women with younger faces. It might be because such looks are often rather blatantly sexual, so maybe it has something to do with some sort of biological display of fertility? I don’t know, exactly, but I think that such styles just fail on women who are older than the age they look good on.

It works the other way too. Young women in their teens and twenties don’t look good in more mature, sophisticated styles that look better on older women. There are beautiful, elegant, supremely sexy styles out there that only women who’ve really experienced life and the world look good in. No teenager or 20-something could ever successfully pull of a Carrie Bradshaw!

In fact, “Sex & the City” gives great examples of women who are not very young, yet look gorgeous (with a few exceptions here and there, especially when it came to Samantha, but that’s another story). They didn’t dress like teenagers to look fabulous. They didn’t need to.

Younger women need to experiment with all kinds of extreme and/or blatant styles in order to develop their own fashion identities. Older women should, by now, have gone through all that and know what their identity and style is.

Nostalgia plays a part too. I find myself strongly drawn to clothes that were fashionable when I was a little girl (hello 1980s!), but there are certain styles from that era that I know I can never pull off, now. So I leave them be.

Men don’t have this problem as much. I’ve really never seen a 40-something (or older) man dress like a younger one. Maybe it’s just where I live? I don’t know. In any case, men around here seem to instinctively know how ridiculous dressing like a teen or 20-something (in skinny jeans, shaggy haircuts, etc.) would be, so they don’t go there.

I think it’s all tied up to how scared we women can get about growing older. It’s really frustrating, because I think I’m much, much better off (mentally, emotionally, even physically) now than I was in my teens and 20s. Yet, everywhere I turn people imply (or flat-out tell me) how much worse it must be now that I’m getting older. Sometimes I think that older women dress in younger styles just because they’re scared of the aging process, in general, because our society equates women’s worth and attractiveness with youth.

I’m one of those 37 year-old women who considers myself in fashion, but not clever enough to have real style and to take risks. I admit it, I’m boring! I wear what the stores put together for me because I really have no talent in that department, and that’s okay with me. I have good taste and I make sure I only wear what suits my body. I work in fundraising and we’re not even allowed to wear jeans on a Friday. I work in the accounting department and never meet outside people, so I can get away with a little more than my coworkers. Sometimes I worry that I dress too frumpy. I probably don’t and am being a little hard on myself and my coworkers admire my clothes but I haven’t got ‘it’.

I don’t admit to anything more fiery than that. I admire it in those like you who do. But I am descended from fiery clothing style talent. I’m going to use my mom as a case study.

She is 61 and has the means now to pretty much buy whatever she wants. She has real style talent, and could pull off a Vogue photo shoot. Her compliments on her wardrobe are never-ending. She’ll wear H&M pieces with her Chanel bags, Zara bags, Gap jeans, $1200 boots and inexpensive Suzy Shier or Le Chateau as well. She’ll throw on the most amazing costume jewellery from all price ranges with her Judith Lieber glasses and wears her mint vintage grey lamb fur coat she bought at Toronto’s coolest vintage store, Cabaret (she replaced the old buttons with rhinestone pins instead). She keeps her hair in a short-to-medium shag that she’ll straighten and punk out a bit with product. Her makeup is clean-looking and polished. And she never, ever, dresses down in public because she says she owes it to the rest of humanity to look her best.

There’s a lot there in the paragraph above that certain people could pooh-pooh as too ‘young’. Wearing clothes from Suzy Shier? It’s a very young store, kind of like the store Express in the States but there are pieces any age group could pull off. Her hair itself? Totally hip. Some would think she needs to have more conservative hair but really, there is nothing that could age a woman more. If you have nothing else, by gum, go to a good stylist. Gap? Zara? How many women in their 80s do you see in those stores? Not many. And why not? What do they fear?

She skips the mini skirts, and does sometimes try on outfits to see if they are a little too ‘young’ or not. Too short? No. Straps too revealing on the top? Back on the rack. It’s a matter of comfort, I think. If you’re wearing it and you feel after the day a bit silly, it’s wrong. Turf it. To those women who are older but wear the midriff-baring pieces, yeah, it’s disconcerting – but if she’s got a six-pack – I’m all there with you, girl. But please, not on urban roads, okay? And that goes for anybody.

My mom sometimes doubts her clothing choices. If she’s not comfortable, it’s acknowledged but at times I’ve said to her, Mom, if you DON’T wear that, you’re submitting to those opinions that declare you need to dress like an old lady. If you do, you’ll look like one. Her mother, who I didn’t know well, seemed to take the same risks. She was divorced, wore rhinestone glasses, smoked cigarettes in a long holder, and was a talented seamstress. She couldn’t afford to buy clothes, but she could spot something in a magazine that she liked, and produce it on her sewing machine. She was that good. Always had immaculate hair and nails and refused to look like the other women her age. She was not afraid to voice her opinion and if she saw a lady who had questionable looks and taste, would declare ’she looks like a four-buckle overshoe’. My dad’s mom, an evil Italian who died at 87, always made sure she had the most perfect coats, shoes, funky boots, suits and fabulous big pieces of jewellery. She seemed to shop daily. She couldn’t stand old ladies dressing like old ladies. And you never saw anyone look so good while they slagged other members of the family or the neighbours.

My mom is so happy all her best stuff will be handed down to me (my dad thinks we’re so morbid, but seriously!) And she told me that if she ever, ever looks like one of those old ladies in their droopy old overcoats, plastic hair covers and beige shoes, I’m to smother her with a pillow, because she may as well be dead.

On the other side of the coin, I have a dear coworker who is on the short side, kind of stocky and sadly, is too, too conservative in dress. She dresses in clothes from Laura Petites (you Canadian girls know what that’s like). She is insane with keeping the ‘professional fundraiser’ look at all times. Which means, stodgy suits, pumps (shudder), and too tight waistbands around her middle. She’s a pretty girl, going on 85. I want to shake her badly. Banana Republic has a petites section! They have sales! Wear pants more! Buy more stylin’ shoes! I use her quietly in my private life as an example of what young women (or any woman) should NEVER do.

There is one aspect I think women and men would do well to consider, though, that screams out for restraint no matter what the age. I do think all ages need to examine carefully, revealing clothing that is made for any part of the body from mid-thigh and up. After that, I think anything goes for anyone.

My rambling essay is probably not answering all those questions you put out there, but it’s been fun to examine this topic. Thanks for inviting us in.