Comments on: negate the negativity: why people in glass houses shouldn’t throw style stones http://bitsandbobbins.com/2007/12/03/negate-the-negativity-people-in-glass-houses-shouldnt-throw-style-stones/ bits and bobbins Sat, 12 May 2012 07:03:03 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: nobodygirl http://bitsandbobbins.com/2007/12/03/negate-the-negativity-people-in-glass-houses-shouldnt-throw-style-stones/comment-page-1/#comment-30939 nobodygirl Fri, 07 Mar 2008 23:06:48 +0000 http://bitsandbobbins.com/journal/2007/12/03/negate-the-negativity-people-in-glass-houses-shouldnt-throw-style-stones/#comment-30939 This is a great article. I know exactly what you mean. And I see it everywhere too. First there are people who talk about people who obviously need help--people looking at people who don't know what looks good, don't know who they are. And then they write really really good blogs about what those people could do better. (Or make good TV shows. You know.) Then people think that it's the thing to criticize other people. Some of them criticize (not just critiquing either!) people who probably could use the help. And then there are the people who are into fashion (I read your article about fashion vs. style--and I mean the first) and people who think they're into fashion but are really very much into their own style and don't know it, and they criticize things that aren't their style. They remind me of the people who wrote the Glamour Dont's List. God, I love that list. It seriously gives me inspiration. I'm wearing too much lace, a side ponytail, and a fake fur coat right now. This is a great article.

I know exactly what you mean. And I see it everywhere too. First there are people who talk about people who obviously need help–people looking at people who don’t know what looks good, don’t know who they are. And then they write really really good blogs about what those people could do better. (Or make good TV shows. You know.)

Then people think that it’s the thing to criticize other people. Some of them criticize (not just critiquing either!) people who probably could use the help.

And then there are the people who are into fashion (I read your article about fashion vs. style–and I mean the first) and people who think they’re into fashion but are really very much into their own style and don’t know it, and they criticize things that aren’t their style. They remind me of the people who wrote the Glamour Dont’s List.

God, I love that list. It seriously gives me inspiration. I’m wearing too much lace, a side ponytail, and a fake fur coat right now.

]]> By: Ally http://bitsandbobbins.com/2007/12/03/negate-the-negativity-people-in-glass-houses-shouldnt-throw-style-stones/comment-page-1/#comment-29028 Ally Mon, 17 Dec 2007 21:54:36 +0000 http://bitsandbobbins.com/journal/2007/12/03/negate-the-negativity-people-in-glass-houses-shouldnt-throw-style-stones/#comment-29028 I see a lot of this in uniformed sub cultures like the goth community. I know I get a lot of snickers and bitchy comments because I refuse to wear the uniform. I think there are a handful of people who find style 'easy'-- they have money and a body that is easy to clothe by current standards. I think most fashion snark is leveled at people who are outside of this norm and who have decided to invent things for themselves. I know when I go to a club or see someone on the street who inspires me it's always someone taking a risk or being humorous or playful with their look. It makes me positively gleeful-- and to be honest in London I don't see that kind of thing often enough. I see a lot of this in uniformed sub cultures like the goth community. I know I get a lot of snickers and bitchy comments because I refuse to wear the uniform.

I think there are a handful of people who find style ‘easy’– they have money and a body that is easy to clothe by current standards. I think most fashion snark is leveled at people who are outside of this norm and who have decided to invent things for themselves.

I know when I go to a club or see someone on the street who inspires me it’s always someone taking a risk or being humorous or playful with their look. It makes me positively gleeful– and to be honest in London I don’t see that kind of thing often enough.

]]> By: futuregirl http://bitsandbobbins.com/2007/12/03/negate-the-negativity-people-in-glass-houses-shouldnt-throw-style-stones/comment-page-1/#comment-28926 futuregirl Wed, 12 Dec 2007 19:15:25 +0000 http://bitsandbobbins.com/journal/2007/12/03/negate-the-negativity-people-in-glass-houses-shouldnt-throw-style-stones/#comment-28926 I wrote this post about negative craft snobs, but it works well for any kind of negative snobbery: http://www.futuregirl.com/craft_blog/2007/10/all-self-righteous-boobs-raise-your.html Part of the problem with deriding a certain fashion sense (or craft or type of music) is that you may actually end up wearing those clothes (or doing that craft of listening to that kind of music). How stupid do you feel then? :) I'm as judgmental as the next girl. Especially when it super-funny. I don't want any of you to think I'm being holier-than-thou ... but I keep it private. I laugh with my friends and family because they are the only people who I don't mind laughing at me when I end up making a 180 later. :) I wrote this post about negative craft snobs, but it works well for any kind of negative snobbery:

http://www.futuregirl.com/craft_blog/2007/10/all-self-righteous-boobs-raise-your.html

Part of the problem with deriding a certain fashion sense (or craft or type of music) is that you may actually end up wearing those clothes (or doing that craft of listening to that kind of music). How stupid do you feel then? :)

I’m as judgmental as the next girl. Especially when it super-funny. I don’t want any of you to think I’m being holier-than-thou … but I keep it private. I laugh with my friends and family because they are the only people who I don’t mind laughing at me when I end up making a 180 later. :)

]]> By: Kyle http://bitsandbobbins.com/2007/12/03/negate-the-negativity-people-in-glass-houses-shouldnt-throw-style-stones/comment-page-1/#comment-28899 Kyle Sun, 09 Dec 2007 18:33:36 +0000 http://bitsandbobbins.com/journal/2007/12/03/negate-the-negativity-people-in-glass-houses-shouldnt-throw-style-stones/#comment-28899 It's really pretty heartbreaking to me that we (women in particular) spend so much time finding fault in others, only making ourselves feel alone and upset in the end. I think many of us need to resolve to turn off the automatic cattiness reflex and instead find ways to relate to other people. That goes for fashion and beyond, obviously! You're changing the style world, Tricia. Keep up the good work. It’s really pretty heartbreaking to me that we (women in particular) spend so much time finding fault in others, only making ourselves feel alone and upset in the end.

I think many of us need to resolve to turn off the automatic cattiness reflex and instead find ways to relate to other people. That goes for fashion and beyond, obviously!

You’re changing the style world, Tricia. Keep up the good work.

]]> By: Tawny Kate-aen http://bitsandbobbins.com/2007/12/03/negate-the-negativity-people-in-glass-houses-shouldnt-throw-style-stones/comment-page-1/#comment-28886 Tawny Kate-aen Fri, 07 Dec 2007 20:27:49 +0000 http://bitsandbobbins.com/journal/2007/12/03/negate-the-negativity-people-in-glass-houses-shouldnt-throw-style-stones/#comment-28886 Thank you for this! I have always been totally puzzled as to why people feel the need to insult others for having different tastes in fashion. A couple of months ago, I literally got assaulted outside a nightclub by a couple of girls because they were not fans of the gold lame miniskirt I was wearing -- seriously!. I can only suggest that that kind of nasty attitude is exhibited by the kind of person who is incredibly insecure, and most likely afraid to take fashion risks because she fears other people's opinions. Like Diana Vreeland said, "Never fear being vulgar, just boring." Thank you for this! I have always been totally puzzled as to why people feel the need to insult others for having different tastes in fashion.

A couple of months ago, I literally got assaulted outside a nightclub by a couple of girls because they were not fans of the gold lame miniskirt I was wearing — seriously!. I can only suggest that that kind of nasty attitude is exhibited by the kind of person who is incredibly insecure, and most likely afraid to take fashion risks because she fears other people’s opinions.

Like Diana Vreeland said, “Never fear being vulgar, just boring.”

]]> By: Sarah http://bitsandbobbins.com/2007/12/03/negate-the-negativity-people-in-glass-houses-shouldnt-throw-style-stones/comment-page-1/#comment-28880 Sarah Fri, 07 Dec 2007 15:37:55 +0000 http://bitsandbobbins.com/journal/2007/12/03/negate-the-negativity-people-in-glass-houses-shouldnt-throw-style-stones/#comment-28880 Oh, heavens THANK YOU for this post! I am so tired of women bashing women over clothing. I am a more conservative dresser but I love reading and seeing women express their personal style. And why do we have to point out the flaws in what we see? It's one thing to say, ok, that isn't something I'd wear, or I'd rather have a red purse with that outfit, but never in a nasty way, and preferably not to an audience. And I've obviously read much more catty comments on blogs, most of which I now avoid. As an earlier poster said, it's usually immaturity. Oh, heavens THANK YOU for this post! I am so tired of women bashing women over clothing. I am a more conservative dresser but I love reading and seeing women express their personal style. And why do we have to point out the flaws in what we see? It’s one thing to say, ok, that isn’t something I’d wear, or I’d rather have a red purse with that outfit, but never in a nasty way, and preferably not to an audience. And I’ve obviously read much more catty comments on blogs, most of which I now avoid. As an earlier poster said, it’s usually immaturity.

]]> By: BC http://bitsandbobbins.com/2007/12/03/negate-the-negativity-people-in-glass-houses-shouldnt-throw-style-stones/comment-page-1/#comment-28879 BC Fri, 07 Dec 2007 13:48:17 +0000 http://bitsandbobbins.com/journal/2007/12/03/negate-the-negativity-people-in-glass-houses-shouldnt-throw-style-stones/#comment-28879 Snarking at people who aren't really interested in fashion for dressing badly or in a boring way would be like snarking at me for liking movies where stuff blows up real good. I mean, I do but...so what? I could probably get into film, and spend ages developing taste, and understanding different directors etc, but my interests lie elsewhere so that's where my energies go. Some people might just toss on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt every day, because they spend their time caring about something other than what they wear. I'm not trying to imply that these people are very high minded and care about more important things, but fashion is kind of a hobby, I think. If you have a different one, so what? I can get that people might want to critique outfits, in the same way that one might critique a piece of art, but it's so subjective that if you go about it in a mean kind of way, there's always gonna be someone who says 'hey! I totally dig that!', and anything at all that you wear could be subject to the same treatment. And hey, in 20 years it could be the height of fashion. Even if it's gray tracksuit bottoms with elastic. ESPECIALLY if it's gray tracksuit bottoms with elastic! ;) Snarking at people who aren’t really interested in fashion for dressing badly or in a boring way would be like snarking at me for liking movies where stuff blows up real good. I mean, I do but…so what? I could probably get into film, and spend ages developing taste, and understanding different directors etc, but my interests lie elsewhere so that’s where my energies go.

Some people might just toss on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt every day, because they spend their time caring about something other than what they wear. I’m not trying to imply that these people are very high minded and care about more important things, but fashion is kind of a hobby, I think. If you have a different one, so what?

I can get that people might want to critique outfits, in the same way that one might critique a piece of art, but it’s so subjective that if you go about it in a mean kind of way, there’s always gonna be someone who says ‘hey! I totally dig that!’, and anything at all that you wear could be subject to the same treatment. And hey, in 20 years it could be the height of fashion. Even if it’s gray tracksuit bottoms with elastic. ESPECIALLY if it’s gray tracksuit bottoms with elastic! ;)

]]> By: Eva http://bitsandbobbins.com/2007/12/03/negate-the-negativity-people-in-glass-houses-shouldnt-throw-style-stones/comment-page-1/#comment-28874 Eva Fri, 07 Dec 2007 08:31:53 +0000 http://bitsandbobbins.com/journal/2007/12/03/negate-the-negativity-people-in-glass-houses-shouldnt-throw-style-stones/#comment-28874 Josi - I understood you are defending any kind of criticism. I was just trying to explain which kind of criticism I find thoughtless and why (and why I don't care for that breed at all). Satire and truly negative criticism are very different things/mediums. I do enjoy good satire and the occasional intelligently-written snare (which are VERY rare) as much as most people. But things like: "This dress makes her look like a troll." are neither original, funny nor intelligent. Who benefits from blunt and thoughtless criticism? I'd say neither the recipient nor the readers. And it surely doesn't shed a favourable light on the writer. Comedy usually has to "hurt", be it a soft spot in people/society, some boundaries or similar things, in order to be funny. The art is toeing the line. Because on the other side of satirical, funny and intelligent can be just plain ugly. I think one important question Tricia raised is why people choose to spend so much time and energy on being negative (using whichever medium to express it), rather than concentrating on the positive. Why does someone choose to spend an hour writing a post on aesthetics they loathe, instead of using that time to praise those they love? Josi – I understood you are defending any kind of criticism. I was just trying to explain which kind of criticism I find thoughtless and why (and why I don’t care for that breed at all). Satire and truly negative criticism are very different things/mediums. I do enjoy good satire and the occasional intelligently-written snare (which are VERY rare) as much as most people. But things like: “This dress makes her look like a troll.” are neither original, funny nor intelligent. Who benefits from blunt and thoughtless criticism? I’d say neither the recipient nor the readers. And it surely doesn’t shed a favourable light on the writer. Comedy usually has to “hurt”, be it a soft spot in people/society, some boundaries or similar things, in order to be funny. The art is toeing the line. Because on the other side of satirical, funny and intelligent can be just plain ugly.

I think one important question Tricia raised is why people choose to spend so much time and energy on being negative (using whichever medium to express it), rather than concentrating on the positive. Why does someone choose to spend an hour writing a post on aesthetics they loathe, instead of using that time to praise those they love?

]]> By: Lady Smaggle http://bitsandbobbins.com/2007/12/03/negate-the-negativity-people-in-glass-houses-shouldnt-throw-style-stones/comment-page-1/#comment-28872 Lady Smaggle Fri, 07 Dec 2007 04:21:24 +0000 http://bitsandbobbins.com/journal/2007/12/03/negate-the-negativity-people-in-glass-houses-shouldnt-throw-style-stones/#comment-28872 Actually I just realised I wrote a post recently on how I love that not everyone loves everything and how diverse fashion is. Also that we should very pleasant to each other. http://www.smagglestyle.com/?p=442 But I accidently turned off the comments and I don't know how to turn it back on. But I'll try! Actually I just realised I wrote a post recently on how I love that not everyone loves everything and how diverse fashion is. Also that we should very pleasant to each other.

http://www.smagglestyle.com/?p=442

But I accidently turned off the comments and I don’t know how to turn it back on. But I’ll try!

]]> By: Lady Smaggle http://bitsandbobbins.com/2007/12/03/negate-the-negativity-people-in-glass-houses-shouldnt-throw-style-stones/comment-page-1/#comment-28868 Lady Smaggle Fri, 07 Dec 2007 02:36:39 +0000 http://bitsandbobbins.com/journal/2007/12/03/negate-the-negativity-people-in-glass-houses-shouldnt-throw-style-stones/#comment-28868 Hmmm... sometimes I say mean things on my blog. But never about people who make an effort. And in my humble opinion I feel that I can tell the difference. People who wear dirty, ill-fitting and vulgar clothes really irritate me. I have no patience for people who take no pride in their appearence. Would the lovely ladies who have commented on this post call that a style choice? All I ask for is for people's clothes to fit, to cover the parts they are supposed to cover and generally be in a fit state for public perusal. And mostly when I say negative things it's directed at anonymous people. Praise should always be personal and criticism should be amiguous. For instance I have to say that I hate high waisted jeans. But I have seen several ladies on Wardrobe Remix looking SENSATIONAL in them. Also I have seen people wearing them thoughtlessly on the street and they have looked hideous. It's all about the effort. And sure, there some people who don't give a rats about clothing. Fine. A well fitting pair of classic trousers will be just as comfortable as your disgusting grey tracksuit pants with the elastic around the ankles. And they won't make me feel like I am not important enough to look decent for. No one is ever too old, fat, young or thin to wear anything that makes them feel good. And I will support ANY fashion decision that someone makes as long as there is effort or some sense of conscious decision behind it. I saw the most amazing girl getting on a bus the other day wearing layer upon layer of black lace and she had an incredibly intricate spider web drawn on her face. How fabulous. People where staring at her all over the place but I thought she looked amazing. Why? She made an effort. Many of the people around her were clearly offended by her look but I was much offended by the man behind her whose shirt was too short to cover his stomach and I could see his belly hair almost to his belly button. And he actually had the nerve to sneer at the beauteous creature in front of him? For shame... Hmmm… sometimes I say mean things on my blog. But never about people who make an effort. And in my humble opinion I feel that I can tell the difference. People who wear dirty, ill-fitting and vulgar clothes really irritate me. I have no patience for people who take no pride in their appearence. Would the lovely ladies who have commented on this post call that a style choice? All I ask for is for people’s clothes to fit, to cover the parts they are supposed to cover and generally be in a fit state for public perusal.

And mostly when I say negative things it’s directed at anonymous people. Praise should always be personal and criticism should be amiguous. For instance I have to say that I hate high waisted jeans. But I have seen several ladies on Wardrobe Remix looking SENSATIONAL in them. Also I have seen people wearing them thoughtlessly on the street and they have looked hideous. It’s all about the effort.

And sure, there some people who don’t give a rats about clothing. Fine. A well fitting pair of classic trousers will be just as comfortable as your disgusting grey tracksuit pants with the elastic around the ankles. And they won’t make me feel like I am not important enough to look decent for.

No one is ever too old, fat, young or thin to wear anything that makes them feel good. And I will support ANY fashion decision that someone makes as long as there is effort or some sense of conscious decision behind it. I saw the most amazing girl getting on a bus the other day wearing layer upon layer of black lace and she had an incredibly intricate spider web drawn on her face. How fabulous. People where staring at her all over the place but I thought she looked amazing. Why? She made an effort. Many of the people around her were clearly offended by her look but I was much offended by the man behind her whose shirt was too short to cover his stomach and I could see his belly hair almost to his belly button. And he actually had the nerve to sneer at the beauteous creature in front of him? For shame…

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